The Mouth of Sauron
Diary of a Tolkien Fiend
Monday, December 01, 2003
 
Usually I work five days a week, eight hours a day, but recently I decided to change my schedule so that I only work four days a week, which means that from now on I'll be working ten hours a day. While this will give me an extra day off during the week to work on the site, it may prove too tiring in the end. Not only that, but I've always been a night owl, and now I'll have to get up even earlier in the morning than I used to. Anyway, tomorrow my new schedule begins (or actually, today), and I have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn, so am I going to bed early tonight like I should? Noooo... of course not. It's after two in the morning and I'm still up posting this crap.

Today I went shopping with my mother for Christmas gifts. I don't celebrate Christmas, I celebrate Yule, but she celebrates Christmas, and as long as presents under a tree are involved she doesn't much care whether I call it Christmas or Yule, so it all works out. At any rate, I have to say that my mother must be the most annoying person who ever lived, especially to shop with. All she did all day was nag and complain, and start petty arguments with me. But that's what she usually does, so I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for, because thankfully she doesn't do it too often, was her yelling at a compleat stranger for holding up the line at the checkout counter. Sometimes I wonder why I even go Christmas shopping with her. Well, actually I do know why. She can't see so good anymore, and even though I don't drive, she needs me to ride shotgun so I can warn her if she's about to run someone over.

Where was I? Oh yeah, so she yells at this old guy for asking the cashier all kinds of questions and holding up the line, but meanwhile whenever we're in a shopping center she's always in someone's way, because she stops in the middle of aisles or even in front of doorways to rummage through her purse or to look at something. Of course, a line inevitably forms behind her, and when I try to tell her to move to the side so people can get by she instead starts walking forward, so that she's still in their way, and so slowly that even if a bunch of Ents were walking behind her they'd be annoyed.
 
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The rider was robed all in black, and black was his lofty helm; yet this was no Ringwraith but a living man. The Lieutenant of the Tower of Barad-dur he was, and his name is remembered in no tale; for he himself had forgotten it, and he said: 'I am the Mouth of Sauron.' J.R.R. Tolkien

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